he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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