a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
