Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
