is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
