We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
