FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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