yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
