I'm going to jail i love you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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