I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
