sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
