Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
