I feel a five day drunk coming on.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize