can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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