I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
