Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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