She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
