Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
