just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Are we still banned from the library?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
did i just pee glitter
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
