my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
