i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
