You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
