I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's never too late to be topless.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
