Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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