Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
