Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
