I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
