The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
