Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
