she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
