I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
