i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
