Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
