wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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