college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
