Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
