Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
