I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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