Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
