yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
