So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
