how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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