Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
