it hurts more in the daytime
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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