...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
