LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
