okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
