I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
