i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
