I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
