Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
