I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
