Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
